i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
