that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize
