Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
