in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got inside last night via doggy door
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
