She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
