...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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