HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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