check it out our google latitudes are spooning
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
