Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Randomize
