bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
