How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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