we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
