Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize