So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I am available for nakedness
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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