Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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