okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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