Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
