so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize