I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
If I die, sorry about rent.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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