thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
