physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
