Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
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