i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We have started to decorate penises.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Randomize
