Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Hippo gnu deer
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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