So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
