every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Just cropdusted the office
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
