i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
