found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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