yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
