Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
cat food counts as protein by the way
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
What happened to fro yo and sex?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
