You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Randomize
