I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
