It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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