1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
