Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
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