Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
