called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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