Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
