you will always have a special place in my vag
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
