let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
