why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
where are you?
Hypothermia
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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