all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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