I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Randomize
