I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
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