can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize