now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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