I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
