After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Randomize