dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
