Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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