I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Randomize
