Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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