He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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