My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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