Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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