ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
