Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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