he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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