Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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