i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Randomize
