Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
