Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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