i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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